I fell off the map a long while ago, but I am here.
I have forgotten all about this site, as I do not post on any site besides Tumblr.
I am not fully recovered, but I am.
I am the happiest that I have ever been.
I am a career professional and I support myself.
I live in a one bedroom apartment with my cat and still enjoy drinking tea.
I am at a solid 150 pounds, but you would not be able to tell.
I work on my feet and I heal bodies with my hands.
I am strong as hell and do not feel that guilty eating an entire pizza.
I am independent, strong willed, and happy.
Happy because I am able to take care of myself and happy because my body is strong.
Wow is the only word I can think of when I read my previous posts.
I don't know who that girl was, but I do.
I remember how I used to feel.
I remember what it was like to hurt myself and cry in front of the mirror just because I would despise what stared back.
A girl with water in her eyes and nails that would break.
Someone who would sneak around at 1 or 2 am to eat the rest of the pie in the fridge.
I remember that girl and I am strong because of it.
Starving yourself does not make you strong, it makes you naive.
I will never be 100% recovered.
My size will be a forever thing that I am conscious of.
Wow.
I know what it's like to want to strip and boil your skin. To take scissors and cut the fat off. Your body is not what makes you unhappy. There is always an underlying cause of it all. You have to look at life and realize everyone has their demons. Days turn into a haze and after awhile you will find your happiness.
Eat.
Love yourself.
Be strong because you can stand up tall.
Be strong because one day you will look back, like I have, and say wow.
